My Path to Islam. FREE ONLINE ISLAMIC BOOK: Reverts/converts to Islam share Holy Qur'an and Sunnah supported Shahada testimonials in: "COMING TO ISLAM: A Muslim Anthology -- Shahada Testimonials, Stories." Read and download. Shahadah, SHAHADAH, shahada, SHAHADA, shahadah, A River Garden Arts Publication.

I WAS BORN IN A SMALL DIVERSE CITY

ON THE EAST COAST OF THE UNITED STATES.

As a baby I was baptized a Roman Catholic and attended Catholic School until the fifth grade at which point I told my mom that I was not Catholic and needed to go to a public school. During my elementary years I was very much into prayers and very questioning towards the inner reality of the general nature of just about everything. Although I was sent to a private school Catholicism was not practiced at home. I had many questions that it seemed no Christian, not even the nuns, could answer; such as why we pray to Jesus and Mary if God is one without partners.

I began my secular life at the early age of eleven. I began to be influenced by my surroundings and started smoking cigarettes, marijuana and occasionally I would drink alcohol. I used to shoplift, fight, hustle drugs and many other crimes. I still had a deep conviction in God, but lack of guidance kept me on a mainstream path to destruction. At the age of 15, I committed my first felony that landed me in juvenile hall. There I began to read the Bible looking for answers to my problems, pondering all the injustices in society and seeking repentance for my sins. Reading the Bible I learned not to eat pork, not to keep idols like pictures of Mary and Jesus, and to pray in prostration. What I was being taught through the Bible I did not find amongst those whom call themselves Christian.

In my search for Christians, I recall an incident that happened a week before my incarceration. I had run away to South Philadelphia in an attempt to avoid incarceration. There I encountered Muslims for the first time. When I questioned one sister as to what her beliefs were, she stated that they believe in Jesus, 'Alayhis-salaam, but not in the crucifixion and that Muhammad (SWS) was the final Messenger after him. I decided that I would get a library book to learn more. The first thing I read was the Five Pillars of Islam. I already believed in One God, fasting, praying daily and giving charity. The pictures of Muslim women reminded me of Maryam, 'Alayhas-salaam, Mother of Jesus, 'Alayhis-salaam, and every other Biblical depiction I have ever seen depicted woman like this. This combined with the example of the nuns and other basic truths I had learned through Catholicism intrigued me to study further.

At this time I was moved from the detention center to a group home where I would remain for eleven months. When I first got there I met a Muslim sister who was reading Qur’an. I read with her the story of Moses, 'Alayhis-salaam, and people worshipping the golden calf in his absence. Right away I noticed this story from the Bible, of which I have always been well versed. I went to the library and got a Qur’an. I read the story of Joseph, 'Alayhis-salaam, and right away recognized that I also knew this story from the Bible. During a phone call, the only Muslim friend I had, read me a description of Paradise (see Appendix V) from the Qur’an. I was feeling like my spiritual gap was being filled and felt closer to God.

I read Surah An Nur 24:35-38, where Allah describes himself in detail:

“Allah is the Light of the heavens and earth.

The parable of his Light is as if it were a niche

and within in it a lamp:

the lamp enclosed in glass:

The glass as it were a brilliant star:

lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the East

nor of the West, whose oil is well-nigh luminous

though fire scarce touched it:

Light upon Light!

Allah does guide whom He will to his light:

Allah doth set forth parables for men:
and Allah doth know all things.

(Lit is such a light)

in houses, which Allah hath permitted to be raised to honor;

for the celebration, in them, of His name:

in them is he glorified in the mornings
and in the evenings,

(again and again),

by men whom neither trade nor sale
can divert them

from the remembrance of Allah,
nor from regular prayer,

nor from paying zakat

their (only) fear is for the day
when hearts and eyes will be turned about,

that Allah may reward them
according to the best of their deeds,

and add even more for them out of His Grace:

for Allah does provide for those whom He will,
without measure.”

Then I knew for sure that this was the missing link to my Christian teaching. Everything I was learning was as if I already knew it and now I found other people who were ready and willing to submit to God, The Almighty.

I took Shahada by myself in my room at the group home; reading it off a paper that an Auntie gave me.

“La illaha illALLAH, Muhammadur rasulALLAH.”

“There is no God but ALLAH

Muhammad is the Messenger of ALLAH.”

I became firm in my decision and immediately dedicated. I faced opposition from friends, family and society on a minor and brief level.

My real opposition was myself. I felt like a child who was just learning how to live. Upon my release it was hard for me to remain on the Straight Path. My surroundings easily took toll on me and I began to fall back into smoking, hanging out and pursuing the music industry. Due to my family and financial situation I once again justified selling drugs. My conscience was eating me and I began to make salah more often. I vowed to Allah that I would stop hustling in just two months. That same month I was set up with forty ounces of heroin that landed me in ruthless Riker’s Island in New York City. Once again I was incarcerated, but this time I was in another state away from my family in one of the worst, dangerous prisons in America facing five years at the age of eighteen.

Alhamdulillah! Allah guided me back to him. I vowed that I would never sell drugs again and submit completely if Allah would save me from five years of imprisonment. My father put up my bail and I went home to my state. I began never wanting to commit crime after that, though, I had several offers to make money and it was hard to refuse. One year had passed and I was still struggling with changing myself. Finally, I was sentenced to five years on probation.

I couldn’t bare my surroundings anymore and began to attend the mosque. I begged Allah for his forgiveness and made Istakarah for a husband that would take me out of there. After a few serious conversations with a very religious brother I was convinced that he was the one I should marry. I told him everything and he understood and accepted me as his wife. He was very poor and had no house so he had to move me to another state to live with his family. Now, I am a part of a very large community. I am a completely changed woman who is firmly submitted in Islam.

I am an example that faith is the driving force that heals and achieves. I used to be a criminal and frequent sinner but, Allah SWT saved me and raised my status. Now, I am thankful for my hardships. I don’t tell people my history because they will not understand and always have some negative notion about me. Just think of a really religious person you know. What if you found out that they used to be a drug dealer? Please do not pass judgment on them. Love them wholeheartedly because this was their decree and Allah has forgiven them and gave them Iman (faith) and Allah knows best about his slaves.